Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Admit it: You Love Hearing About Pirates

I just heard an NPR reporter pronounce the phrase "battling pirates off the coast of Africa." Sure, this is a serious issue but my initial reaction was "What is this, 1802?" The words "pirate" and "piracy" have mostly become associated with software in my mind, and it was sort of weird hearing about the actual maritime variety. The report might as well have been about vikings or ninjas or something.

Which is why I think reporters are loving this story, and why the public is paying attention. As serious an issue as this is, I think that reporters secretly love saying "pirate" and meaning it. Especially now. For the past few years the news has been dominated by terrorists, whom few have bothered to really understand or investigate; the Iraq war, which is a frontless quagmire; and the economy, which is a byzantine maze that few people really understand. Now, though, we have clarity.

Everyone understands pirates. What do they want? Cash. What do we do about them? We shoot them. The end.

Obviously, it's more complicated than that. Somalia is a fairly worrisome place. But, I think that after years of messy and depressing stories, people are sort of relieved by something that is not only exciting, but offers a certain amount of moral clarity. We're the good guys, they're the bad guys, and in the most recent round, we won. What's more, these guys are pirates. Motherfuckin' pirates! They're not about politics or religion or anything ideological. They're all about hauling in giant piles of money and stuff. They are, then, a set of villains we can relate to, understand, and feel good about defeating. That's exactly the sort of thing that a media and a public, starved for excitement in the midst of recession, love to hear about.

6 comments:

  1. I particularly enjoyed when one of the pirates (after the raid by French and American forces which killed some of his men) claimed that they never killed anybody - they just would hold them at gunpoint indefinitely for ransom. Cause, you know, that's OK.

    This situation does have a nice moral clarity to it. Yes, their lives suck, but still. It's one thing to steal a loaf of bread. It's another to board ships with automatic weapons, take the cargo to sell on the black market and hold the captain and crew hostage for ransom.

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  2. ARR!

    Anyway, where are buccaneers when you need them? (I need to investigate the etymology of that word.)

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  3. Well, because you asked...

    A "boucan" (sp?) was a thin strip of dried meat, and often used as rations on ships. Sailors were known for eating them, and the term "buccaneer" became slang for sailors, and pirates in particular.

    The more you know!

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  4. I knew I could count on you to be less lazy than me!

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  5. Yeah, it seems morally clear-cut, until you read this thingy that's been making the rounds. I don't know how true it is, and I got shit to do so I'm not gonna check, but it certainly seems plausible that, in the absence of a Somali government, all the other nearby countries would decide to illegally fish/dump shit in their waters and that the locals would choose this response as a way to fight back. Although if that were the case, they might want to ask for maritime sovereignty next time they take a ship. I dunno, I should probably sit back and enjoy the throwback villainy, but the reality seems far more depressing.

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